Janvi
Janvi
English and Hindi
18 | Single | Student
I have been grappling with depression for over three years. For the most part, I’ve felt hollow and lifeless, like I would never experience any positive emotion again. I felt like a haze was settling over my mind, covering my vision and slowing me down. I had nothing in life to look ahead to. I usually felt completely separated from my own body. It felt as if tiny waves of electric shocks were running through my body.
After a while, I chose to accept the pain. I fell enough times, but I was determined to stand up again. I started indulging myself in programs and workshops and made connections, which eventually led me to something transforming and wonderful called gratitude. I started feeling an inner sense of gratitude for what the pain has given me rather than what it has taken away. However, I still sit on the same see-saw that we all do, and it continuously goes up and down, switching between darkness and light. But now, on days like these, I just need a reminder.
I learned how to be alone and how to find comfort in myself. I search for opportunities and experiences that can strengthen the bedrock I’m trying to build. And now, I wonder sometimes, where would I be without my pain? It keeps us awake. The way it has changed me as a person is considerable. And even the worst of experiences teach us something. Primarily, this journey has taught me to “just do it”. I owe it to myself to keep striving, not because I have to, but because I want to prove to myself that I can.
I learnt not just to live but thrive with my mental health condition. I’ve always dreamed of creating and sharing ideas, learning and thoughts with the world. I’m a gap year student heading off to Duke/Duke Kunshan University. I might not have advice that can alter your life, but I can definitely hear your story while sharing insights and values from mine.
I have been grappling with depression for over three years. For the most part, I’ve felt hollow and lifeless, like I would never experience any positive emotion again. I felt like a haze was settling over my mind, covering my vision and slowing me down. I had nothing in life to look ahead to. I usually felt completely separated from my own body. It felt as if tiny waves of electric shocks were running through my body.
After a while, I chose to accept the pain. I fell enough times, but I was determined to stand up again. I started indulging myself in programs and workshops and made connections, which eventually led me to something transforming and wonderful called gratitude. I started feeling an inner sense of gratitude for what the pain has given me rather than what it has taken away. However, I still sit on the same see-saw that we all do, and it continuously goes up and down, switching between darkness and light. But now, on days like these, I just need a reminder.
I learned how to be alone and how to find comfort in myself. I search for opportunities and experiences that can strengthen the bedrock I’m trying to build. And now, I wonder sometimes, where would I be without my pain? It keeps us awake. The way it has changed me as a person is considerable. And even the worst of experiences teach us something. Primarily, this journey has taught me to “just do it”. I owe it to myself to keep striving, not because I have to, but because I want to prove to myself that I can.
I learnt not just to live but thrive with my mental health condition. I’ve always dreamed of creating and sharing ideas, learning and thoughts with the world. I’m a gap year student heading off to Duke/Duke Kunshan University. I might not have advice that can alter your life, but I can definitely hear your story while sharing insights and values from mine.
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